I didn’t exactly hear Jesus’ voice saying to me, “Homeschool all your children.” Instead, I heard my husband’s voice saying to me, “I’m not comfortable sending the children to school this year.” And the man never has opinions. He is the most laid-back, no pressure husband on the face of the earth. If I decide I want to homeschool the children, fine. Raise the kids Catholic and do a bunch of crazy Catholic stuff at home? Fine. Load up the van and go on a 24-day roadschooling adventure? Fine. He’s cool with it all. So if he actually has an opinion about something, I think I better listen and respect his desires.
Today is the first day of school. Like many people, I thought that this year would look differently than it does. I had planned to send two of our four children to school. My middle girl would be at school all day, and my four-year-old son would be at 4K for the mornings to give me time to focus on his two other sisters who would be eagerly homeschooling.
It’s a strange thing. Last year I had discerned that school was a better fit for one of our children, but I believe that the will of God can be discerned in the ordinary (or extraordinary) events of life, including in the input of those around us. So when I physically heard my husband say, “I’m not comfortable sending the children to school this year” what I really heard, like the apostles when faced with 5000 hungry people, was Jesus voice saying, “Feed them yourself.” So here I am, stepping out in faith, to give my best, and believing that the grace of God will make up for what I lack.
Despite some stress, there is also peace, because I believe that God always wills what is best for us — for all of us. So if it is God’s will that E be homeschooled, then it must also be the best thing for me to homeschool her, and the best thing for each member of the family. And when I say “the best thing”, I always mean that it is the best thing for our spirtual health and eternal welfare. Sometimes God’s will is definitely not the easiest, most relaxing, or the most comfortable. Sometimes God’s will brings us to our breaking point, but I believe that the cross transforms us, and we are better in the Resurrection than we ever could be before the cross, in life.
So, here I am, stepping out in faith and trust. I’m looking forward to the joys of this year and happy to have the whole family at home together, and I’m praying for the grace to be transformed through the struggles (like the stuggle of homeschooling a strong-willed child). Perhaps you will say a prayer for me as we begin this path for another year? And let me know if I can say a prayer for you.
“God leads us in the path of life eternal: let us give thanks and praise!” (“Morning Prayer”, Magnificat 22, no. 5, (July 2020)